If you are reading this post, I can assume you are currently experiencing incontinence in one form or fashion. Just know I am not advocating completely hiding your health issues. Incontinence can occur due to many different health reasons and should be discussed thoroughly with your personalized health care providers. Your family and loved ones should be aware of your health issues.
That being said, incontinence can be an embarrassing or awkward conversation to have with the closest people in your life, but it is necessary to have a support group in your life. My spouse is my biggest advocate. She is very aware of my issues and discretely helps me manage my incontinence.
1. Live confidently
Just act normal! It sounds easy, but after years of living with incontinence I have learned some valuable lessons. Nobody is really paying that close of attention, or really cares for that matter. I am not saying people don’t care about you, they just aren’t paying that close of attention to know if you are or are not wearing incontinence products. Continue living life as normally as you possibly can. I truly believe that life is too short to be stuck at home due to incontinence.
2. Always be prepared
One of the best ways to keep incontinence a secret is to be prepared. Always be prepared to take care of your needs when you leave the house. I always have an incontinence kit with me wherever I go. This gives me peace of mind to handle my needs quickly and discretely in the public. If you want to read more about what is in my kit please read my blog post entitled “Top 5 items for an emergency incontinence kit.” This post quickly outlines some tips and tricks and what to carry incase of an incontinence related emergency.
3. Choose the right products
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Choosing the right incontinence products for you, requires trial and error on your part. Incontinence is different for everyone, so find out first hand what works the best for your needs. There are a few things to know about product choices before you start spending money. You may choose to experiment with products the same way I did. I started with a pad, and realized quickly that I needed more absorbency than what a pad offered. I moved up to a pullup style brief like these in the link https://amzn.to/4dIQYB5 and found that it was absorbent enough to get me through the day at work. At night I experience a complete loss of bladder control so I experimented with absorbency until I found this tabbed style brief https://amzn.to/3Tcyd0J . A few simple things to understand about different product styles are:
- Incontinence pads: These products are designed for light incontinence and occasional bladder leaks. Individuals that experience stress incontinence may find peace of mind while wearing a pad designed for light urinary leaks.
- Pullup style briefs: Pullups offer more protection than a pad, but are still slim and not very noticeable while wearing them. Pullup style briefs are my go to incontinence protection during the day or when I know there is a restroom nearby.
- Tabbed diaper style briefs: Tabbed briefs offer the most protection, but tend to be a bit more thicker. I wear this style brief at night or when I know I can’t get to a bathroom quickly. Tabbed briefs allow for extremely quick changes without the need to remove shoes and pants. If you experience heavy to complete loss of bowel and bladder control, a thicker tabbed brief may be the right choice.
4. Buy products online
If you have ever felt the embarrassment of buying adult diapers at a store, then you should consider shopping online. There are many reasons to buy your products online and here are a few of them.
- Most stores do not carry the supplies and absorbency level briefs I need for my level of incontinence.
- I can set up a subscription and have enough products to get me through a month. Products I need get automatically shipped to my door month after month on a schedule.
- My friends in town do not see me purchasing diapers every week at the store. Not that it matters what people think, it is way more discrete having these items arrive at my house in a plain brown box every month.
- Using a source like Amazon, I can read reviews, get next day shipping and have products recommended for me.
5. Maintain good hygiene
In your incontinence kit, carry fresh scented adult incontinence wipes. Using wipes will ensure that you not only smell fresh but help to reduce damage to your skin. I carry a nice scented body spray in my kit as well. Regularly changing incontinence products helps to prevent odors and keeps you comfortable and dry during the day.
6. Track your fluid intake
Be mindful of your fluid intake. Do not deprive yourself of fluids to avoid incontinence issues. Continuously drink small amounts fluids throughout the day. Limit bladder irritating drinks like alcohol and caffeine as often as you can especially when you are out in public. Get to know your body and how it handles fluids throughout the day.
7. Pick your clothing wisely
If you require the use of incontinence briefs and do not want the world to know , you must choose your clothing wisely. I personally do not like baggy clothing. I generally wear an active slimmer fit style of pants combined with an untucked shirt. At work I wear either an un-tucked dress shirt or an untucked polo shirt. I choose shirts that cover my waistline thoroughly if I have to bend down at any point during the day. I choose to wear regular underwear over the top of an incontinent brief just in case something is showing at any point during the day. If you worry about briefs leaking, wear a darker colored pair of pants to hide the leak until you can change. In your incontinence kit, carry an extra change of pants.
Frequently asked questions??
- What do you do if an internet order of incontinent briefs does not arrive on time?
This has happened, and it is very inconvenient! Stores in my town do not carry a product that even comes close to the absorbency level I need to get through the night. I try my best to improvise in these circumstances. If possible I combine whatever brief I can get with a booster pad like this one in the link https://amzn.to/3MzaXX2. I try to always have enough of these on hand. If I do not have a booster pad, I try to get the maximum absorbency brief I can find. Drug stores do carry tabbed briefs for lighter incontinence and will get me through in a pinch. I do know from experience that I will have leaks and buy bed pads to protect from leaks. I have learned from these experiences to order extra every month and create a surplus to reduce the chances of running out on occasion.
2. How do you reduce the embarrassment in case you do have to buy products in a store?
Purchasing incontinence briefs in a store can be embarrassing, but overtime you get used to it. My need for the products out way the risk of embarrassment in a store. One discrete way of buying incontinence briefs at a local store is to schedule a pickup. We use services like Walmart’s pickup and add these to grocery list. Using self check out lines minimizes interactions with people as well.
3. Should I tell my employer about my health issues?
If your incontinence issues get in the way of work, then yes. In the past I worked a shipping and receiving role in a factory. I gave HR a doctor’s note and an explanation of my condition. My issues didn’t seem to get in the way, but they were appreciative of my honesty and dedication to my job.